Rey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
talentedscavenger) wrote2024-09-30 04:48 am
talentedscavenger) wrote2024-09-30 04:48 am
Closed to bargain_batman
[ooc: Continue from here]
[After an awkward introduction on Tinder, Rey was pleasantly surprised to find out Diego was located not too far from where she lived. A weird coincidence, and she wasn't going to look into further. No need to let her mind go down that rabbit hole. She could hear Finn's voice in her mind, gently teasing her that, "Things happen for a reason, you know."
God, she was going out to meet someone willingly for the first time since Ben's death. A year of grieving, and therapy to help her get back on her feet. Sort of. Grief wasn't linear, and god she wished it was. It would have made things easier, to go through each step and check it off some sort of list. There were good days, and bad days. So far, the number of good days had out numbered the bad ones.
Giving herself another pep talk, she left her home and headed to the agree upon meeting location; a small coffee shop further in the city. Plenty of people coming and going.
The scent of coffee and hot chai wafted through the air as Rey entered. A quick scan and she found no sign of Diego. Guess she got there first. She pushed down feelings of nervousness in favor of grabbing a quick cup of drip coffee and finding a seat.
So that's where Diego would find her, head bowed reading something on her phone. A young woman wearing a blue cable knit sweater, jeans and black boots. Her shoulder length hair was down in soft waves--she had put in some effort into her appearance.]
[After an awkward introduction on Tinder, Rey was pleasantly surprised to find out Diego was located not too far from where she lived. A weird coincidence, and she wasn't going to look into further. No need to let her mind go down that rabbit hole. She could hear Finn's voice in her mind, gently teasing her that, "Things happen for a reason, you know."
God, she was going out to meet someone willingly for the first time since Ben's death. A year of grieving, and therapy to help her get back on her feet. Sort of. Grief wasn't linear, and god she wished it was. It would have made things easier, to go through each step and check it off some sort of list. There were good days, and bad days. So far, the number of good days had out numbered the bad ones.
Giving herself another pep talk, she left her home and headed to the agree upon meeting location; a small coffee shop further in the city. Plenty of people coming and going.
The scent of coffee and hot chai wafted through the air as Rey entered. A quick scan and she found no sign of Diego. Guess she got there first. She pushed down feelings of nervousness in favor of grabbing a quick cup of drip coffee and finding a seat.
So that's where Diego would find her, head bowed reading something on her phone. A young woman wearing a blue cable knit sweater, jeans and black boots. Her shoulder length hair was down in soft waves--she had put in some effort into her appearance.]
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Are you sure? [Rey asked, forcing herself to move before other thoughts took root. It was exhausting--one moment she was fretting over old memories and the skeletons she had in her closet, the next the wanted to ask Diego why he hadn't kissed her. Maybe years of pent up teenage hormones was finally catch up to her.
She moved to another cabinet, taking out two water glasses and set them off to the side. She hesitated, reaching up for the wine glasses and then deciding at the last second to not grab them. Alcohol may not help her in this moment.]
Hm? Oh, right. [Rice or noodles. That was her decision and she needed to figure out what to go with.] I think noodles? I didn't pick up rice... [Rey moved to her pantry and took out a bag that had glass noodles, along with a bottle of mirin.] I can get the water going, and once the noodles are soft, we can mix everything together.
And this... [She held up the bottle of mirin.] Can be used on the meat after it's been sliced up. It should make it tender. [According to both cooking shows and science, it should.
Placing the bottle on the counter, Rey went back to putting away the groceries and started to take out various pots and bowls to help with prep. She was quiet, she knew that, and it was probably not helping Diego. She managed to take out a small bowl before taking in a deep breath.]
I'm sorry, my mind....it's going in a lot of different directions. You told me about your past, and I'm holding back mine--which isn't fair to you. And I...[Deep breath, Rey. No need to automatically jump to conclusions.] I don't want you to look at me any differently.
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Rey took a deep breath then started what sounded like a can of worms he hadn't expected. His eyes studied their surroundings once more. Why weren't there any pictures? Diego swallowed thickly and ceased working on the garlic that was already minced. ]
Are you married?
[ It sounded like she was going to tell him the worst thing possible and Diego couldn't think of anything worse. He would always be second. In his family, his last relationship where he'd been second to Eudora's career... Rey might not have jumped to conclusions but he was convinced that something was wrong.
He sat the knife down, ready to hear what was likely going to be a sucker punch to his feelings. ]
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Ben was the longest relationship she had--and maybe they could've gotten married, the idea never came up, but that was a moot point as he was six feet under.
Rey raked her fingers through her hair, trying her best to sort her thoughts and get them in order. She was going to word vomit, and Diego would decide she's not worth it and end it between them. The thought frightened her, but she couldn't keep her past from him forever. Deep breath.]
We both had crappy childhoods, and I wasn't kidding when I said my caretaker was into some shady shit. He had a junk yard and I worked in it. If I didn't, I didn't eat. I learned how to take apart cars for parts, learned how to fix them and potentially how to steal them--I never did. I just learned because it was better to distract myself with that than get involved.
[Rey paused, feeling a lump form in her throat. It wasn't easy talking about her past, but it had to be done. She had gotten better about it at least. No longer distancing herself from it and indifferent. She worked through those feelings in therapy, but still had a ways to go.]
When I was old enough, I left. I worked two, three, sometimes four jobs to keep a roof over my head. If I wasn't working, I was studying so I could get into a university. I'm proud of what I've accomplished, but my background...it's not clean. [Not something a hero, or someone of Diego's statue would want to associate with, right?]
I don't want you to pity me--I just wanted you to know, I'm...I'm nothing. Not a hero, not a villain, just...nothing.
[She hadn't been kidding when she told him on that app how she had issues with her self worth. If he wanted to leave so be it, but damnit if he looked at her with pity.]
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He didn't feel pity. If she could sense anything, Rey would feel his anger. Diego knew all too well the feeling of being used as a child. All the Hargreeves were bought and paid for as infants which gave their father the entitlement to treat them as pawns instead of sons and daughters. The way that Rey acted, Number Two thought he might not have disclosed enough. Yet it wasn't the time to talk about himself. ]
Stop that. You're not nothing just because you're not a hero or a villain. Sometimes there's no difference between the two so it's a good thing you're not either. But you ARE somebody. You're somebody intelligent, independent, a survivor. You're my girlfriend and to be honest...
[ He hadn't planned on saying it. He didn't want to shoot himself in the foot but after what she said and how she looked, Rey deserved someone looking out for her. Diego didn't want to be alone but neither did he want to fall deeper and get rejected later. His posture shifted to a rigid stance, his hands at his sides and balled into tight fists. It was as if he braced himself for the truth she needed to hear. ]
...you're way out of my league. I'm sure your friends will tell you that when they meet me. I know my sister might say it when she meets you.
[ His eyes had fallen to the ground and refused to look at Rey. ]
I don't have money like this. I've got a room in a house that I share with five siblings.
[ He picked up his gaze, timidly seeking her eyes. ]
I'm not my father.
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Except, Diego didn't walk away. He sounded upset--not at her, but maybe at how she was describing herself? It was a lot to unpack and decode, with her mind completely glossing over the past where she was called his girlfriend. What shocked Rey the most was the feeling of inadequacy Diego felt towards himself. Where did he get that idea? If anything, he was out of her league! She had seen the glances and stares from the other women at the MMA fight he had. Women who were prettier than Rey, or so she thought. Not that she believed Diego to be shallow, but he could have anyone he wanted.
Then again...she thought the same with Ben, and questioned why he was with her. Damnit, she was back in that same cycle, wasn't she?
Rey looked down for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. Actions spoke louder than words, but she couldn't bring herself to move from her spot on the other side of the kitchen island.]
You're right, you're not your father and I would never want you to be. [She looked up from the floor to face him, taking one small step and then another until she was right next to him.]
And if anything, you're out of my league. [There was a weak smile there, further affirming that Rey thought so little of herself.] You're kind, Diego...and honest. Both traits are very rare in this world--and you're kind not because you expect something in return, you're just...you.
[God, she hoped that made sense. Diego was great because...he just was, in her eyes.]
I don't care about money. Poe and Finn had to talk me into furnishing this place after I lived here for a year. I only had a small bed and a bean bag chair. I... [She paused, steadying herself against the kitchen island.] I don't spend money on myself. It's hard...very hard for me to spend anything that would make my life more comfortable. [Rey guarded her finances like a dragon that protected its treasure, but that was from years of growing up with very little.
Sure, she could spend money on her friends, but she would find every excuse to not spend a penny on herself.]
And I'm pretty sure Poe and Finn would like you...it's BB that you have to win over. [Rey moved one of her hands closer to Diego, waiting to see if he would take her hand in his.]
I'm sorry...I didn't mean to ruin dinner. I just...didn't want you to think I'm hiding anything. Aside from the fact I feel broken at times. But I'm trying to mend those pieces and accept them as they are.
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He frowned when Rey talked about not spending on herself but hid a smile when she said her friends would like him. The grin grew as he shook his head at the mention of winning over the cat she seemed to share custody of. There was a roller coaster of feelings that were clearly visible. Diego took her hand and tugged her close to his side. ]
There's nothing for you to apologize about. We haven't even started cooking. Dinner's not ruined. Not yet.
[ His lips were pursed in a smirk, trying to lighten the moment before giving her head a kiss. Diego had laced his fingers with hers and kept Rey close but not that she couldn't slip out of his hand if she wanted. ]
I... like you just the way you are. You don't need to be anybody else but you. And being you shouldn't ever be something you apologize for. Okay?
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[They were both dealing with a roller coaster of emotions. Rey felt tears gathering in the corners of her eyes as Diego tugged her closer. He laced his fingers with hers, showing her he wasn't going anywhere. She bowed her head, trying to will her tears away, but they only slipped down her face after he kissed her forehead. Sweet, tender moments she never had in her younger days. Someone telling her she mattered and meant it.
Rey lifted her head to look at Diego again, catching the smirk on his face. She felt relieved that he understood where she was coming from, and felt like a mess because of her tears. Her heart skipped a beat hearing he liked her--and that moment, her brain registered the fact he called her his girlfriend.]
Okay. [A small squeeze of Diego's hand and she shifted against to hug him. She pressed her forehead against his chest, taking in one deep breath and then another to steady herself.]
You know...I didn't know I was your girlfriend. [Rey murmured against Diego's chest, pulling back slightly with a weak smile.] We haven't really kissed since our first date, so I wasn't sure if you wanted to take things slow.
[Was there a blush on her face? Yes, but at least she wasn't upset or fretting about her past now--just her present...and maybe her future.]
Don't get me wrong, I like the kisses you've given me. I was...unsure of how to ask for an actual kiss. From you.
yes. yes they are ^_^
You thought... I thought YOU wanted to take things slow?
[ He shook his head in amused disbelief. Diego was certain this was the first time ever that a romantic interest didn't know just how deep his interest went. ]
If anything, I thought the kiss then was a clear green light to whatever kiss you want. Whenever you want.
[ There was a temptation to dip his head down and engage in a lip lock but he was enamored in the moment with the possibility that she might have been crushing on him. Diego had worked so hard not to come across as needy or as head over heels as he felt and missed all the signals that she might feel the same way. ]
You don't have to ask.
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[God, that was painful to admit out loud. She wasn't one to seek out someone out for a physical need. A hook up wasn't something she was interested in, and it was doubtful she could fully enjoy it as she needed to trust her partner. And fuck, she trusted Diego. Hopefully he didn't think she wasn't a novice or something--
Her eyes went wide realizing she had just implied and blurted out:] I'm not a virgin! [Wait, no, she was stumbling through this and Diego was going to think she was a complete idiot.] That is--I'm not inexperienced, or experienced---I wanted to wait a bit before we did anything, and I said that already. [Deep breaths, deep breaths, and wishing she could not stick her foot in her mouth.
There was a bright pink blush on her cheeks now, great. Biting the inside of her cheek, Rey timidly continued on:]
I would lean in, wanting to kiss you and I got a peck on the cheek, so I thought we were on the same page of slow, but not slow. [Did that make sense? Did her luck run out with him?]
And I said BB was with Poe and Finn in case you wanted to spend the night...assuming the date went well, and you wanted to stay with me.
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[ It was a genuine remark. No teasing or sarcasm. He was honestly floored with her... confession? Take on things? Diego wasn't sure where to start. Something important dawned on him. His hand never let hers go. ]
I mean, I remember you leaning in but ...I just thought...
[ His cheeks filled with air and he blew it out as he verbally reacted to everything she said. Then the very last thing Rey said dawned on him. ]
--Did you just say you want me to spend the night?
[ How blind had he been? He really was terrible at relationships, not having any idea on the right speed. Diego swallowed thickly. ]
Rey...
[ His hand squeezed hers, nervous about how she'd take what he was about to say. She said she liked his honesty. He hoped she meant it. ]
...I know you said you were getting rid of the app. You haven't given me any reason to think you're seeing anyone else but I have to make it clear, I don't sleep around. Maybe you're not exactly saying sex tonight. I'm not trying to pin that down on you. I'm just saying, if we're getting to that part... I've gotta know that there isn't anyone else.
[ He couldn't be Number Two again. His brown eyes looked intently into hers, searching for a sign that she understood. Hoping that she felt the same. ]
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They were on multiple rollercoasters of feelings and she was getting whiplash from it all.
Honestly, she was tempted to run and hide in her bathroom, but that wouldn’t do her any good. It wasn’t like she could erase those last few minutes from their minds. God, she wished she could though, if only to spare them both of her foolishness. ]
Y-yeah. [ Yup. Spend the night. Either together for the purpose of resting or “spicy sleep” as she heard her younger co-workers say.
Her gaze didn’t leave his face, trying to take into account every emotion that flickered across his face and if it meant the night was truly over. He squeezed her hand, and she squeezed it back.
He was concerned about that possible next step, if it meant they were exclusive or more than that. She understood the reasoning behind it. Neither of them were the type to just…lower their walls and let someone in. Be that open and vulnerable with another. ]
I’m not one to sleep around either. [That was the easiest one to tackle. ] Sex was kind of on the table, but I didn’t check to see if I had condoms. [Because, fuck she wasn’t going to chance getting pregnant.] So, it was just an idea…but one I was willing to explore.
[She paused, taking a breath to let her words sink in. ]
I’m not seeing anyone else, and I don’t want to. I like you—us. I want to see where this goes.
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Sounds like we're on the same page. At least, about seeing where things go between us.
[ He shook his head while it hung. He was clearly embarrassed but also amused. A crooked grin stuck to his lips. ]
Is this still dating or do I call you my girlfriend? I thought we were already at the 'just seeing each other' phase. Never thought that had to go hand in hand with sex.
[ A part of him considered explaining as Rey had that he wasn't inexperienced but not overly experienced either. Ultimately, Diego decided that they both might have over explained. His hand slipped out of hers to wrap his arms around her. He gave her a squeeze before pulling his head back while still in an embrace. With the tip of his nose, he nuzzled hers lightly when she looked up at him. It was a soft touch before closing in and giving her a kiss.
It wasn't as passionate as the one in the park but it wasn't a peck on the lips either. Diego was nervous about things going too fast and he didn't want Rey to think his thoughts would be stuck on just sex. ...Regardless of how much he thought about after this talk. ]
Dinner then dessert.
[ His voice was husky and there was mischief in his eyes that matched his lips. ]
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[No doubt her cheeks were covered in a pink hue now, but Rey didn't care. They were taking a step forward, making things "official" between the two of them. Diego was her boyfriend...and the thought of it sent shivers down her spine and make butterflies appear in her stomach.
She wanted to comment on the sex part, wanting to reassure him that they didn't have to do anything at this moment. They could take their time and spend it developing more of a connection before taking that step. A very intimate and sometimes intimidating step. Rey parted her lips, prepared him her thoughts but he drew her in closer and she found time had slowed down.
Diego's arms were wrapped around her body, making her feel safe and warm. He nuzzled her nose, prompting her to lift her head up and move in closer. Their lips met again for another kiss--one that Rey had been yearning since their first meeting. She parted her lips, tongue slipping out to brush against his lower lip. A soft, and sweet kiss that made her knees feel weak and could easily turn fiery and passionate.
When he began to pull back, Rey took her time in opening her eyes. Unconsciously, she bite down on the inside of her cheek to keep herself from chasing after his mouth.]
Right... [Dinner then dessert--which, from a food perspective made sense. However, when she opened her eyes to see that mischief in his eyes, it was hard to not have dessert right then.] We should get dinner ready. [The words were drawn out, with Rey doing her best to not lose her composure. What was Diego doing to her?
She hugged him tightly one last time before forcing herself to move away. She let out a breath and started to make the marinate for the meat. Right, talk. She should talk and not act like a lovestruck girl.]
Um...I do have cookies for dessert and wine that might go with this. Or sake. Whichever you prefer.