AU for fulfillourdestiny

[talentedscavenger]

Let the past die.

Kill it if you have to.

Those were the very words Ben--Kylo Ren had spoken to her in Snoke's throne room. The First Order was getting closer to the Resistance and Rey had a choice to make. Either stand with Kylo Ren, or turn her back and go to the Resistance. It was...hard, harder than she thought possible as she stared at his out stretch hand and felt her heart ache at the sight of a man who had given up so much.

His family.

His Master...

All in the name of order, and power...and for her.

He didn't kill her, instead he chose to end Snoke's life instead of hers. They were equals, in strength and power. He was darkness and she was light, together...they could do wondrous things.

Rey thought that had been the hardest decision in her life, to stay with him, to learn from him...and now she was finding it was the days that followed that were the hardest. It didn't matter to her how she was treated. Hux's stares and Phasma's silent judgement didn't matter to her. What mattered to her was Ben...and wondering if her friends--those she cared about, were okay.

She was in her room, closely monitored by Hux's men--to ensure she wasn't some spy for the Resistance until he saw fit, regardless of what Ren wanted. He didn't bother her, knowing she could go toe to toe with him in a battle of barbs and sharp remarks. No, she wanted some sense of quietness as she read the Jedi text she took from Ahch-To.

She made the right choice....didn't she?

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[fulfillourdestiny]

He had feared she would spurn him, tell him that this wasn't the way to go and then she would leave him. Return to the Resistance and once again let the Galaxy punish him for daring to hope that someone might actually care to stick around for him. But she didn't. She chose to stay. She chose to stand with him.

He couldn't explain the way it made him feel. He could explain the anger that Hux's distrust of her brought. So what if he chose not to follow the pitful remains of the Resistance to Crait? Without Le... There was nothing left of them that anyone would follow, and he didn't want to start his rule as Supreme Leader with wasting resources on something that meaningless.

He wanted to change the galaxy, he wasn't going to start with fighting a war that had been going for longer than he'd been alive.

"Rey?" He entered her room after scaring away the troopers that Hux had on watch. She wasn't some common criminal to be guarded. She was...

Well, they hadn't actually put words to that.

He eyed the books.

"Are they making any sense?"

[talentedscavenger]

Rey didn’t look up right away when Ben entered her room. She felt his Force signature meters before he approached her area. The stormtroopers quickly made themselves scarce after he dismissed them. No doubt one of them would inform Hux that their Supreme Leader was visiting the turned-Jedi.

“Yes....and no,” Rey began, softly closing the tome and placing it on the side of her standard issued bed. She craned her head up to look at him, trying to read his emotions.

“It’s confusing and frustrating, but I’ve been staring at it for hours.” So this? This was well welcomed. She needed a break.

“Are you doing well?” The question was spoken softly as she rose to meet his height.

It was....hard to say what they were. If she was his paramour or, as some troopers whispered, his soon-to-be Empress, or his apprentice. Rey....she didn’t know either, but she was grateful that he had come for a visit.

[fulfillourdestiny]

It's reassuring to be able to feel her Force signature so close. It's like it helps to calm him, bring him down when he is otherwise feeling ready to go and hunt Hux down for his apparent need to treat Rey like a prisoner. He knew that one of the troopers would inform the General, and frankly he didn't care. Rey was not a prisoner, nor was she to be treated like one.

"Do," he started and then stopped, coughing awkwardly. "Would you mind if I looked?" It felt like an odd question to be asking. He might not necessarily believe in the continuation of the Jedi but there was still an interest in seeing books that were dedicated to explaining the Force.

"I'm... dealing with General Hux is frustrating," he admitted, a brief look of tiredness crossing over his face.

[talentedscavenger]

Hux had a plethora of reasons to not trust Rey. She wasn’t loyal to the First Order. She was loyal to Kylo Ren, just like his Knights. Though, she wasn’t a knight, nor was she a soldier in the First Order’s army. It was....hard to say what she was. It would be a good idea to talk about that sooner rather than later.

Or, before Ren decided to do away with Hux completely.

“Go ahead. I think I’ve read the same passage five times.” It would probably make more sense to him. The texts were useful, if anything they covered interesting philosophies and the different battle forms/stances.

She patted to the seat next to her, offering him the chance to sit if he wished.

“He is a very....aggravating man, isn’t he.”

[fulfillourdestiny]

Reasons or not, Kylo was still positive Hux was just being to rude to Rey because she was important to him, and because she was - to the General - evidence of his own failure to advance forward following the untimely death of the Supreme Leader. Kylo was sure that Hux had always seem himself stepping into the ultimate leader role once Snoke had... served his purpose. He really did need to do something with the General, to make sure he showed more respect.

But that could be later. Now he was taking the seat next to Rey, a soft smile flickering on to his face briefly as he took the book from her, opening to the page she had been studying. The writing was faded with age, but there was still enough to make it legible.

His undignified snort was not intentional.

"Aggravating is an understatement."

[talentedscavenger]

After Snoke was killed....it was hard to state what exactly happened without giving much away. No one could know the truth, and Hux probably had his suspicions but nothing concrete. No, the General had to tread lightly, and carefully if he wanted to over throw Ren. In the mean time, he could ignore Ren’a orders and treat Rey as he pleases—she wasn’t to be trusted, not by a long shot.

It didn’t bother Rey so much, she had been treated far worse. At least she was here with Ben, and that’s all that mattered to her. Especially considering the slight smile he gave.

She moved closer to him, her should brushing against his. Physical contact to help curb his frustrations with the General.

“Oh, I know there are a few choice words to describe him, but it’s not worth it.” Gingerly, Rey reached out to brush his cheek with her fingers. She needed this too, just a few moments to themselves.

“He’s not worth thinking about right now.”

[fulfillourdestiny]

Her fingers brushing his cheek made him turn to look at her more properly, that smile flickering back on to his face. Rey always seemed to know the right way to make him feel something other than just anger. This was why he always wanted to steal time for them. When made him feel... She made him feel like a person.

"He's never worth thinking about," was the dry comment he gave, smirk pulling at his lips as if it were a secret only known to them. "But he doesn't trust you, treats you like a common criminal." His gaze softened, and a hand covered hers. "You don't deserve any of it."

[talentedscavenger]

"Better a common criminal than as a traitor..." which was still an insult, but she was in a room and not a cell. There were always worse places to be, so she was fine with her current arrangements. At least this way, they could steal time away for themselves. No one peaking in or invading their space.

No one else to see Ben lower his guard to give her a faint smile, or a smirk that made her heart skip a beat. He looked...almost like a scoundrel in that moment, but she didn't breathe that into existence, least that dredged up old memories.

"I don't know what I deserve, but this?" Her gaze held his as her thumb brushed over his cheek.

"This is what I need. What we both need." Time for them to be with each other, to sort through things and forget about what 'duties' they had.

"You know I won't do anything to jeopardize your position. If I have to be sequestered here for a time, fine. Besides, I wouldn't know what else to do...." considering she wasn't part of the Resistance, nor was she officially part of the First Order. Her loyalty was to Ben, no one else.

[fulfillourdestiny]

"You don't deserve to be treated as either of them," he reassured her, his hand still over hers and squeezing in what he hoped was some kind of comfort to her. His head was turned into her hand, the warmth of it on his cheek was more than he deserved, and it made him appreciate every last second of it. Here, in the room, it didn't matter what the outside galaxy wanted from either of them, it was only what mattered to them that was important.

This time was... more than important. It was the only thing he actually looked forward to.

"If I can manage more of it, you know I would be here." He hated leaving her alone, feeling like it was somehow breaking that unspoken promise from back in the hut, or maybe from when she chose to stand with him. He wouldn't leave her alone, but life did not let him keep to that.

"You could tell me what people need," he said softly, looking at her with seriousness in his gaze. "Places like Nima Outpost... there's more of them in the galaxy than there should be." He lifted his hand from hers, placing it on her cheek instead. "I want to make them be a thing of past. Something we look back on and are glad don't exist anymore."

[talentedscavenger]

"Then how do I deserve to be treated?" An honest question because...Rey didn't know. She was used to being treated as a nobody. As someone who wasn't important, and it was...weird to think of herself as anything else other than 'Rey of Jakku.' Being Force sensitive, or anything related to the Jedi.

Should his men treat her as his equal? But then what did that exactly mean? They were trying to figure things out without risking his position, or give Hux the opportunity to overthrow Ben.

"I know...I know you would." Be here with her, if he could. She squeezed his hand in return. He had things to do...and really, she was stuck here. At least they were feeding her. There was a somewhat bright side to things.

Rey's hand moved from his cheek, moving back to rest on her thigh. Her gaze drifted from him, but she didn't pull away from his touch. Rather, she leaned into it.

"I don't know what people need--and I feel like Hux could give you more information on that. He's...resourceful, as much of a pain in the ass as he is." Huffing out a sigh, Rey moved closer to be at Ben's side, mindful of the text in his lap in favor of being as close as possible as she could to him. She began to lean against his shoulder, resting her head there instead.

"What I do know...is that, this is where I should be. Here. With you."

[fulfillourdestiny]

"With respect." The words were spoken in such a matter of fact manner, because he believed that Rey deserved nothing less. "You're my equal." Those words were also so matter of fact, because it was the truth. She was his equal, and deserved to be treated as nothing less. He didn't care what the troops or what Hux thought to that, it was the way things should be.

"Hux wants the galaxy to fall into step with what he thinks it should be," was Kylo's derisive snort to Rey's comment. "If he could, he would obliterate the Force." The General had made it very clear what he thought of the 'outdated religion' and how much he wanted it gone from the galaxy. He closed the text on his lap carefully, sitting it to the side so that it wouldn't be damaged.

That was an ironic thing of Hux's insistence on keeping Rey hidden away and under guard. He was inadvertantly protecting relics of the very thing he would like nothing more than to see wiped from the galaxy. The thought returned the smirk to Kylo's face, a soft huff of a laugh sounding from him. He glanced at her head, resting on his shoulder.

"... Yeah," was his quiet agreement, that hint of a smirking softening into a smile once more.

[talentedscavenger]

Rey was his equal in power, but in status? That was hard to say, especially when they had yet to vocally establish what they were to one another. Ben had offered her his hand, the chance to stand at his side....and she took it. She had forsaken the Resistance and her other friends to be with the one person who, seemingly, understood her. To the rest of his men and the First Order, she was some sort of...pet? Or, Ben's shadow who was there because he wanted it.

"I don't think they see it that way." Which was fine, honestly. She couldn't care. He was the Supreme Leader and she was...Scavenger turned Jedi turned...something else.

"You can't make them see me as an equal when..." she paused for a moment, trying to figure how to put her feelings into actual words.

"When we don't even know what we're doing." Romance or labeling things wasn't her forte, but...Ben was important to her. They had a connection and they felt a need to be with one another.

As for Hux and his wants and needs, Rey rolled her eyes at it.

"He cannot control everything, regardless of how much he yells or glares." Though...Ben did have his temper flare up and the outcome came in bursts of destruction, but Hux's anger was a cold sort. The kind that took longer to come to life, but always had a plan on what to destroy.

Leaning against him and hearing Ben confirm this was where she should be brought a soft smile to her lips. Book out of his lap, she shifted once more to allow her arm to wrap around his waist, holding him as she leaned against him.

"...how long will you stay?" For an hour? For the night? She could check the clock to see what time it was but...was it wrong to want the rest of the day or evening to be with him?

[fulfillourdestiny]

There was a snort.

"I don't care how they see it," he told her. "You are my equal, and they need to accept that." His tone bore no argument on the subject and for a brief second the anger was clear. Not anger at her, but at Hux, at the troops, at anyone who would dare to consider her anything less than the status he saw her at. But it faded fast, looking at her with a perplexed expression. His head tilted and he carefully watched her face.

What they were doing? They were... Oh. That was a question. Kylo blinked. He stared off into space for a moment, his fingers unconsciously tracing over hers as he tried to think of a satisfying answer to the question. What were they? Did he even know?

"... I've never had experience of anything like this," he admitted slowly, "and Han and Leia..." There was a tightness in his voice, causing him to swallow and shake his head. He still was shaken by what he had done to his father, and by the missiles that had hit his mother's ship. He couldn't feel her through the Force anymore. He didn't want to think on what that meant. "They weren't the best example."

"But..." he took in a breath. "You mean... something. Something important. To me. Is... is that an answer?" He looked at her, eyes searching and hoping that it helped in any small way.

That smirk came back at her assessment of Hux's abilities, his pride in her clear through the Bond. Of course Rey would be able to be so cutting of Hux, she could see what the man was clearly. He moved in closer, feeling her weight comfortably against him, and slightly shifting his own head to rest against hers.

"I'm staying as long as I can."

[talentedscavenger]

Ben had made up his mind about how the First Order should see her. Nothing more, nothing less. Yet, there was still a part of her that wanted to argue back, to tell him fear and commanding them to respect wouldn't do anything. It would only create rifts, something Hux could pounce on and create his own faction...

But that could be placed on hold. For now...they have to talk about them. Where they stood with one another...and it was hard to lie and say seeing Ben at a loss of words was sweet. Sweeter than she ever thought possible.

Rey let him take the time he needed to gather his thoughts. Her brown eyes looking at his face. Her mind offering a soothing presence through their bond. Neither of them had the best experience in this, and there was nothing for Rey to draw from, except her experience on Jakku.

When Ben spoke there was a slow nod from her. Rey's fingers brushing against his, doing whatever she could to offer comfort.

"You are important to me...and that feeling can be both exciting and terrifying." Knowing how much she cared for him as she did, knowing that either of them could be killed in battle.

"We'll figure it out, together." There was a soft squeeze of his hand, eyes fluttering shut as he leaned into her.

"...Good. I don't want you to leave so soon."

[fulfillourdestiny]

The soothing that she sent via the bond did relax Kylo, his shoulders dropping into a position that showed it better. He never meant to be as ... wound as he often was, but when it came to Rey, he wanted to do things right. That he didn't know what was right for this situation did not help, as he tended to have this instinctive reaction to panic when he didn't know what he was doing.

But she was there, and her eyes were wide and soft and she cared for him. Force knew why, but she did. His eyes looked over her face, as if trying to read some kind of deceit there - a lifetime being manipulated left it's marks - but no, he could feel her sincerity.

"We're ... important, to each other." He clarified, as if simply sounding the words out. Maybe he was.

"Well, I'm not leaving."

[talentedscavenger]

A lifetime of distrust and solely relying on one's self should have hardened Rey's heart. It should have made her more hesitant to trust anything outside of herself, but she learned through the years that there is some kindness in others. And that kindness, even trust, could be found in the most unlikely places.

So she understands when Ben looks at her, searching for any sign of manipulation, that it's his way of protecting himself. No harm, only a skill that's hard to turn off. Which was why somethings, like affection, were still foreign to her...or when she's surprised that someone could care so much. She had been without either for so long.

"Yes, we are," she murmured softly to him, opening her eyes to look into his and show she was being sincere. Her eyes soon drifted downward, noting the text was no longer in his lap and being as close as they were...it wasn't enough to the young woman.

"...Can I do something?" it felt so stupid asking for permission, but she wants to respect his boundaries and make sure it feels right for the two of them. Once Ben agrees, she carefully moves again, settling in his lap, head on his chest and arm around his waist...holding him.

Much better.

[fulfillourdestiny]

Kylo occasionally found himself wondering why, despite their wildly different backgrounds, he and Rey were so similar to each other. Hesitant to affection and careful to watch for manipulation. Though she had far more empathy than he had, but then again, she hadn't had someone in her head all her life. He's immensely grateful for that, he would never wish that on anyone. (No, not even Hux.)

He had just nodded his permission, wondering what she would do. Finding her in his lap, wrapped around him... That was not what he had expected.

"You keep surprising me." It slipped out.

[talentedscavenger]

There was a huff of a laugh from Rey. Not laughing at him, but at the idea that she could keep surprising him. Honestly? she was surprising herself with how....easy it was to hold him, to relax and be at ease. She didn't think their first encounter would end like this. It shouldn't have been possible, but here they were, practically cuddling...

"Is that a good or bad thing?" she asked, truly wondering if it was a positive or negative in this...relationship they were in.

"I'm not about to ask you to do something you're not okay with." She wasn't going to take anything from him, not unless he was forthcoming with what his needs and wants were. She wasn't like Snoke, taking and taking until there was nothing left.

[fulfillourdestiny]

He did smile at the sound of the laugh, finding it a good thing that they could do that around each other. After all, their first meeting would have never prepared him for any of this, even if he had felt her awakening in the Force. Of course, feeling that meant nothing in the long run, any Force sensitive could have done it, but given everything that had happened... He wondered.

"A good thing," he assured, carefully moving his own arms to rest loosely around her waist. This was not territory he had been in before, and he did not want to do anything that she was not okay with.

"Likewise." He knew the undercurrent of her words, and he wanted to be sure she knew his. He had ... rough ideas of what like on Jakku could have been like. This only worked with her consent.

[talentedscavenger]

Life on Jakku had not been kind. It had been harsh, where Rey had to work in the hot sun with little food or water in her body. She had to choose between when to eat, and how much. If she ran out of food, then she had to figure out what to do next.

It was a harsh life that Rey wouldn't wish upon anyone.

Which was why being here in his arms, was both welcomed and...a bit foreign. Or even be on a bed, granted a stiff one but better than the floor. She never thought her life would be like this.

"..You can stay here as long as you want." With her, if he wanted to. Though, he probably had a room of his own, but, she didn't want to part from him.

And honestly, it was nice to be held by him, so nice that she was tempted to fall asleep on him.

[fulfillourdestiny]

There's so much he wants to say to that statement. So much that he could say to that statement, but it's like all the words are stuck on his tongue, refusing to come out because his mouth has suddenly gone very dry and his lips are stuck together. His arms move a little closer to her, tightening his hold around her just a bit.

"I think," it comes out slowly, haltingly. "I think I'll do that."

Time Skip!

[fulfillourdestiny]

Kylo wished he could say that he was surprised that he would eventually meet the Resistance on the battle field again, but the truth was that he knew it was likely to happen. Even if they eventually saw that the First Order was changing, attempting to move away from being simply an off-shoot of the Empire, they had lost too many to them to sit idle.

He had gone down on to the field himself, not wanting to sit back as others fought for him when he was more than capable. Before he had done so, though, he had gone to Rey. It was her choice, if she wanted to come fight but...

He wanted her to have the choice. He would respect her decision either way.

[talentedscavenger]

It was stupid for Rey to think the First Order and the Resistance would not face again. They were enemies, but the Resistance had people she cared for. It wasn't like she could ask Ren to stop. She saw what he was trying to achieve, saw what he was trying to correct. There needed to be order before life could fully thrive.

He had gone to her, telling he would be out on the battle field. He would fight. He wasn't expecting her to do the same, but offered her a choice. She still wasn't sure where her place was within the First Order, but it was at his side. If something happened to him...or her friends, would she be able to live with herself?

When she arrived on the field, there were troopers firing and the Resistance firing back. People colliding with one another, trying to fight--trying to win.

This wasn't what she wanted...but they were in a war. They had to fight back.

[fulfillourdestiny]

Kylo would tell her it wasn't a stupid thought, it was just overly optimistic. Not that he really could blame her, he'd ideally prefer not to have to constantly fight against this one group. Besides anything else, it went against all he was hoping to achieve by changing the direction of the First Order, and that was not helpful in terms of how the galaxy as a whole viewed them.

Still, she did join him on the battlefield and he felt an odd sense of warmth about it. She wanted to be by his side, even in the worst of circumstances. He'd never really had that before. A blaster bolt was directed towards them, and he raised his hand, stopping it in mid-air.

Turning to see who it came from, he recognised the traitor right away. He was meant to be Rey's friend. Kylo gripped his saber tightly, ready to go over to deal with the traitor himself.

[talentedscavenger]

Rey's heart stopped in that moment. She head the blaster fire go off and saw the direction it was going towards. It was heading for Ren, but he stopped it in midair. Her eyes went to the direction it came from--

Finn.

Finn shot at Ren.

This wasn't going to end well if she didn't intervene. Could she intervene? It wouldn't good for her. Force knows she was on thin ice with Hux. Her next move could send her into a cell for being a traitor or insubordination.. Before she knew what she was doing, she ran towards Finn--

And stood guard in front of him. Her eyes locked on Ren's, beseeching his.

"...Finn get out of here," she ordered, causing confusion for the First Order turned Resistance member.

"Are you KIDDING ME?!" Finn yelled back, but Rey wasn't backing down.

"I'm not, just GO! I don't want you here!" And damnit did that hurt to say. She wasn't trying to defy Ren, but...she couldn't lose a friend. She wanted both. She didn't want to fight, she wanted to protect those she cared about the most.