Some part of him was thrilled to find out that he and Rey were expecting a new little life, but the more pragmatic parts of him wouldn't let him hold onto that feeling for very long. He already knew how easy it would be for the wrong people to use any perceived weakness against Cassian, against Rey - and some people weren't above considering an innocent child leverage ... or even worse, collateral damage.
Not only that, but he couldn't help the ever-present thought that he, of all people in the universe, didn't deserve to have anything good. Not after the lies that he'd told, the things that he'd done, the people that he'd hurt, unintentionally and otherwise.
But if he was good at anything, it was compartmentalizing his feelings in order to focus on the task at hand - and that, for now, was escorting Rey back to his quarters so that they could process what they had just learned. They could talk, but he wasn't sure he was ready for any questions asked of him.
A baby.
His head was spinning. Perhaps it made him seem unaffected, but he was anything but. the last thing he wanted was to run into anyone in the halls and alert them to the fact that something was - well, not necessarily wrong, but something out of the ordinary was occurring. Thankfully, the few people that passed paid them no mind. It was only when they were safely within the privacy of Cassian's quarters that he felt like he could breathe again.
Once the door slid closed, he turned to face Rey, his expression questioning, worried. After a long moment, he breached the distance between them, reaching to lace their fingers together, squeezing gently, as reassuringly as he could.
Far from 'what are we going to do', the first question that left his lips was -
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-09-06 04:11 am (UTC)Not only that, but he couldn't help the ever-present thought that he, of all people in the universe, didn't deserve to have anything good. Not after the lies that he'd told, the things that he'd done, the people that he'd hurt, unintentionally and otherwise.
But if he was good at anything, it was compartmentalizing his feelings in order to focus on the task at hand - and that, for now, was escorting Rey back to his quarters so that they could process what they had just learned. They could talk, but he wasn't sure he was ready for any questions asked of him.
A baby.
His head was spinning. Perhaps it made him seem unaffected, but he was anything but. the last thing he wanted was to run into anyone in the halls and alert them to the fact that something was - well, not necessarily wrong, but something out of the ordinary was occurring. Thankfully, the few people that passed paid them no mind. It was only when they were safely within the privacy of Cassian's quarters that he felt like he could breathe again.
Once the door slid closed, he turned to face Rey, his expression questioning, worried. After a long moment, he breached the distance between them, reaching to lace their fingers together, squeezing gently, as reassuringly as he could.
Far from 'what are we going to do', the first question that left his lips was -
"How do you feel?"