Closed to toomanyevans

[talentedscavenger]

[You'll be fine. It'll be fine, Rey told herself, taking in a deep breath as she headed into the quaint coffee shop, The Dark Side of the Mug. There was a steam punk vibe to the décor. A way for the shop to stand out among the many independent coffee breweries in Los Angeles. Rey appreciated the unique style of the place, and the puns they placed in their coffee names.

She pushed a strand of chestnut hair away from her face. She was tempted to gather her hair and place it in a messy bun, but that might give the impression was she more uptight. Which, on a given work day, she didn't care how others perceived her. Today though? She wanted to make a good impression on a cute guy from Tinder. So that meant styling her hair a little, wear a good pair of jeans that hugged her hips just right and a sweater that was comfy and cute. Practical, comfy, and it wouldn't send the poor guy running for the hills.

From their text conversations, Buck seemed sweet, and smart given his line of work. They seemed to vibe well in the digital space. Hopefully they would in the real world too.

In an effort to calm her nerves, Rey got in line to grab a small cup of coffee and waited for Buck at a two top table.]

Comments

[toomanyevans]

[ Buck cocks his head to the side, listening to Rey express the loneliness that he shares as well. Buck is over thirty, and he definitely thought he would have found that someone to settle down with, have a life, have kids even. It feels like he might be starting to run out of time.

The conversation is getting deep now, but Buck doesn't mind. At this point in their lives, they need to be having these types of conversations on the first date. ]

It must have been tough, when you first got here. I mean, I'm American and it was still tough to move away from everything I knew back in PA. It's tough, but I think you're brave for staying, even if it was for a job.

[ Buck can't say that he's ever had that kind of laser focus on anything. He has a history of being distracted b y a pretty face and a willing body, but he's gotten better as he gets older. ]

Can't say that's ever happened to me, but it is funny. Don't worry, if we start dating, I'll be very clear about it.

[ He finishes off his salad and then pulls his coffee back toward himself. ] So. I know we've just met, but... what do you see for your future?

[talentedscavenger]

It was tough at first, setting up a bank account, and finding a place that fit my budget—and trying to figure out the paper work for any job I had.

[Was it brave to have stayed for this long? Maybe.

There a soft chuckle from Rey, opting to finish the last piece of her pastry. ]

Yeah, one of my other friends said I should make it clear to whoever I date next that they really have to let me know.

[A bit of a quirk, albeit an embarrassing one. But, better to be clear and concise than vague. Rey also failed to realize she could’ve teased or flirted with Buck—asking him how he’d tell her or show her they were dating.

She wasn’t kidding when she said some things (like romance) flew over her head. Her mind was going over the new question he posed. ]

That…is a good question.

[It was probably for the best to be up front about what either of them wanted in a relationship. The hard part was, Rey didn’t know exactly what she wanted—a house, a kid, or both or nothing. She was so used to surviving that the idea of thriving was a foreign concept. ]

I want to do well with my job and grow in my career, and I’m more than likely staying in the States unless I have a compelling reason to head back to the UK. Maybe travel—for fun and not for work.

[Another pause as she tucked her hair behind an ear. ]

I’m 27, technically still in my 20s, and I think I have time to figure out what else I’d want in life. [Beat. ] what about you?

[toomanyevans]

Travelling is good, [ Buck agrees. He likes to travel and experience new things. He hasn't gotten the chance for thew last little while but he loves his job, so that's okay. ]

I think that I'd like to take the Lieutenant test sometime soon. There's not at a spot for Lieutenant at the 118, which is why I haven't yet. But I think I want that.

[ He hadn't really pictured it when he started firefighting but now he's sure that this is the career he wants to excel at. ]

And you know, I've had my fun. I've been looking for something more serious for the past few years, it just hasn't worked out. So yeah, marriage, maybe a dog, maybe kids but I'm not sold on that yet.

[talentedscavenger]

It's good to have goals, and realize that over time goals can change. It's not always set in stone.

[If it were, then she would've been stuck in London and barely clinging to her sanity. Thankfully, that was neither here nor there.

The idea of being serious was...a hard thing for her to grasp. It sounded scary, and why did they have to talk about that now? So neither of you are wasting your time. Rey's mind whispered, sending a chill down her spine. The idea of kids though...that made her heart stop and filled her with some anxiety.]

I don't know if I want kids or not. I... [Rey drew in a long breath and slowly released it, trying to calm down her heart.] I never pictured having them, but I also never pictured myself living in the States. Honestly, growing up was more about surviving and getting to a point where I could be on my own.

[Making it to the next day was a victory in itself, at least in her eyes. Plus, there was also the whole thing of being a crappy parent--but now wasn't the time to unload all that baggage, not on a first date.]

I don't know if I'm ready for something serious, but I am willing to see where this goes. Assuming if you want to see where it goes too. [Fuck, was she blowing this?]

[toomanyevans]

Yeah, I was just a kid when I started at the 118. Now things are different, and that's okay.

[ He frowns a little, taking in what Rey is saying. Buck is definitely looking for something serious, and even if it becomes something eventually, he's looking for someone that wants to see if a relationship will work out sooner than 'sometime in the future'. Maybe he and Rey aren't as compatible as he'd originally thought.

He bites his lip and looks at her apologetically. ]

Look, I-I get it, you're still young, and you have time to figure everything out, I just know what I'm looking for. [ He's not sure what else to say about it. ] So if you're not ready, or don't know if you are...

[talentedscavenger]

[Seeing the frown on Buck's face, it was clear the answer Rey gave wasn't what he wanted to hear. The apologetic look only solidified that--and she swore she felt her heart twist a little in her chest. Rejection should be something she was used to by now. At least she was honest with her feelings and he was being up front with what he wanted.

Was it wrong that she had hoped things could've gone differently? The young woman bowed her head, biting the inside of her cheek and took a breath. Her walls came rushing back up. She looked back at Buck with an understanding expression.]

Yeah, no. I get it. Thank you for being up front with me. [Rey started to get up from her seat, resisting the urge to say 'bye' and run out of the café. There wasn't a point to sticking around anymore, but she had to polite. This guy was her neighbor now--or had been for a while.] And it was nice meeting you. Maybe we'll run into each other at the complex, but, um...I don't want to waste more of your time.

[God knows it felt like she wasted enough of his time with Tinder and meeting him in person. He'll fine someone better. Someone who wasn't broken.

Rey flashed a small smile, kept her head up and managed to walk out of the café with some of her dignity in tact.

From there, it was a blur. Rey made it to her car and drove back to her apartment, grateful for the small pile of snacks she had. Who needed feelings? Why did she even bother with looking for something when clearly, she wasn't meant for another relationship. God knows what she had with Ben was bad, toxic and not something she wanted to experience again. That didn't stop her from breaking down and calling Finn and regaling him with how bad her date with.

Of course...her best friend had to put her on speaker phone with his boyfriend, Poe. Bless his heart, the man was a hot head at times and wanted to find out where Buck was and have a few words, but that wasn't what she needed (although it was very much appreciated).

"Peanut, did you really leave and not let him explain further?" Finn asked, to which Rey scoffed and wiped her tear stained cheeks.

"Think he made it pretty clear, Peanut. There wasn't a reason for me to stay any longer. And I know, I know it's stupid for me to cry about this. I'm stronger than being some weepy girl, but...I like--liked him."

"Ah, you still like him. Don't do that. Look, you were right in telling him you weren't sure about being serious. From his perspective, I don't blame him. He wasn't asking you to marry him--that would be crazy. But, maybe he was wanting something else? If things do serious between the two of you that you won't run away."

Rey was speechless for a moment, letting Finn's words sink...and embarrassment soon washed over. Rey felt like an idiot. She was prepared to tell her best friend that maybe it was still for the best. He wouldn't let her get away with that excuse. He encouraged her to reach out to Buck when she clamed down to apologize for running out and leaving...and ask for a second date.

The encouragement worked. Rey had prepared to send Buck a text, but couldn't bring herself to do it. Texting all of that felt too impersonal. Maybe she could figure out a way to talk to him in person? Dropping by the fire station was out of the question, that might come off as stalker-ish. Nor was she going to try and figure out his schedule. One day gave way into another, and another until fate decided to intervene by having the mail carrier misdeliver a piece of Buck's mail into her mailbox.

Now, she had his apartment number and a good reason to see him.

Swallowing her nerves, the young woman went up to Bucks door with his mail in hand and knocked. Hopefully he wasn't on shift....and not dead asleep.]

[toomanyevans]

Through the next week or so, Buck has a hard time forgetting about Rey. Up until the end of their date when she revealed that she didn't know how ready she was for something serious, it had been going so well. They were on the same page about everything up to that point, but Buck is tired of waiting. He wants that someone to come home to, wants someone to settle down with and have a life with. He gets that she's younger, and she still has time, but ever since Maddie and Chim got together, since they had Jee, Buck's been feeling like he's running out of time.

Still, it would have been nice to get to know her better.

He's sitting on his couch, flipping through channels when he hears the knock. He's not expecting anyone, but people from the 118 drop by unannounced all the time, so it's not really a surprise. Still, he runs a hand through his hair and gets up to answer. When he sees who is on the other side, he really wishes he'd changed out of his sweats, and put a shirt on. Too late for that now.

"Rey?"

[talentedscavenger]

Rey's prayers were answered. Buck was indeed home and--he was not wearing a shirt. That left very little to the imagination, and for a split second she regretted her choice of coming over. Look at him you goofball! She blinked a few times, coming out of her stupor and offered a sheepish smile. He was a guy, a fully grown man and there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

He was relaxing and she looked like she had gotten home from work--a sweater and blouse coupled with dark pants and her hair tied back in a messy bun.

"H-hey," Rey began, thumb moving over the envelope that had Buck's name on it.

"I um, got your mail by mistake and wanted to return it. And well.." She took in a deep breath, once again trying her best to be brave and not chicken out like she did at the cafe.

"I'm sorry for running out the way I did. That was cowardly of me, and you deserved better than that. I, um, was giving it more thought and while I don't know if I want something serious—if this became serious...it wouldn't be a deal breaker." Fuck, was she making any sense right now? If she told him that he would be the exception to her uncertainty would that freak him out?

Maybe it was best if she started to retreat? No, she had to keep going.

"If you want to go out again, it would be my treat. You don't have to answer right now, but the offer stands." She concluded her little speech by handing out the envelope to him, the whole reason why she was out there in the first place.

[toomanyevans]

Buck takes the envelope, wide eyed, as he listens to what Rey is saying. He's still not quite sure he understands though, so instead of letting her turn and leave, he catches her arm. "Wait," he says. "J-just... what?" he asks, trying to understand what she means. "So what you're saying is that you want to try, and you know what I want. And that's okay?"

He just wants to be sure. They'd gotten along very well, and Buck is extremely attracted to Rey, but he needs to make sure that they're both okay if things do get serious. Buck doesn't like getting into things knowing they're going to break up. He hadn't liked it even when he was sleeping his way through LA.

"So, we're going to try, then?"

[talentedscavenger]

Rey was prepared to walk or dash away back to her apartment. Her heart was beating so loud that if Buck said anything, she might’ve missed it. Thankfully, he reached out to keep her from leaving. Was that a spark she felt? Or just her imagination running wild since he was shirtless? Hard to tell.

“Y-yeah. Yes.” She nodded her head at him. “I know what you want and I still want to try.”

Rey had to take a chance. She hadn’t been able to get him out of her head and things felt…nice? Good? Wonderful when they were texting and when they met up. Why not try?

“I know I dropped by unexpectedly and you’re relaxing…” clearly, considering he was shirtless.

“And I don’t want to interrupt your day off further.” Awkward. Her awkward side was showing.

[toomanyevans]

"Yeah?" Buck honestly can't believe it. He'd basically given up, figuring that he'd ruined any chances of them actually trying something out when he'd left the cafe that day. Still, Rey is here and wants to try, so Buck isn't going to say no. They had good chemistry, and that's something to pursue.

Before Rey can leave, Buck says, "I was just watching a documentary. Do you want to come in?" It's not a normal second date, but Buck's not exactly a normal guy. He wants something serious, and he doesn't want to waste either of their time. This way, she can get to know who he is on his off time.

"I mean, if you're not busy."

[talentedscavenger]

Was Rey busy? From a work perspective, no. She had her assignments done and project work in line. She was going to chip away at small tasks, but it wasn’t anything vital. Small busy work because she could never find a good stopping point for the day, unless it was time for bed.

Was she planning to use some of her free time to calm down from asking Buck out? Yes. Her anxiety was still running high—but he wanted her to come inside!! Isn’t this how all true crime shows start? The thought drifts through her mind for a split second. Buck wasn’t a murder…he didn’t give that vibe.

“Are you sure?” She asks, feeling like she was imposing on his time. But, if he was inviting inside…

“I mean, sure. What kind of documentary are you watching?” She asks as she stepped inside his apartment.

[toomanyevans]

Buck shakes his head. "I'm on a seventy-two right now." He doesn't have any real plans before going back to work in a couple of days. He'd put a pause on dating for now since he hasn't been able to get Rey out of his head. She's here now, though. He moves aside to let her in and then leads her over to his couch.

"I'm watching one about black holes. Did you know that they discovered one that was singing? Space is wild." He doesn't settle down right away, instead he moves toward the kitchen. "Can I get you anything? I have beers, some juice... water?" he offers. He'll wait until she decides before deciding himself.

[talentedscavenger]

Rey made sure to take off her shoes at his entrance way, having stepped in mud on her way to work. She didn’t want to track dirt into his clean apartment. The layout was practically the same as hers, but further in the back would’ve been her home office…

And well, a couch that could be converted to a bed.

“Oh that is interesting. I know there are different solar systems aside from our own, thousands of light years away.” She may have to watch the beginning of documentary on her own. It sounded interesting for sure.

“I’m fine for now, thank you. But uhhh…” it was dawning on her that he was shirtless. That she could see how much time and energy he put into his physique.

“Aren’t you cold?” Yes, LA could be hot but—-damn did guys just walk around without a shirt in their own homes? She thought that was something tv shows portrayed for more views.

Then again compared to her with her blouse and sweater, she looked more like the type to get cold easily. Or that the office she came from had freezing AC.

[toomanyevans]

Buck spends most of his time at home without a shirt on, so he hadn't actually noticed that it might make her feel uncomfortable. "I'm uh, I'm not? But I can change," he says, taking a bottle of water from the fridge and setting it on the counter. "Give me a minute, okay?"

He sprints up the stairs to the loft and grabs one of his sleeveless shirts and pulls it on. It really doesn't hide much considering it's still pretty tight, but at least he's covered now. He comes back down, grabs the water and joins Rey on the couch. "Do you want me to restart it?" he asks, cracking open the bottle and drinking deeply.

[talentedscavenger]

Rey didn’t mean to make Buck feel self conscious in his own home, but it wasn’t everyday she was in close proximity with someone like him—the temptation was there and she felt a bit guilty for it.

“Take your time!” She called out while sitting in the middle of the couch.

She watched him dash up to grab a shirt that…didn’t help matters. There was nothing with his wardrobe, but damn. Everything he owned seemed to show off his body pretty damn well. Whereas Rey dressed more for comfort and to blend in. A wallflower more than anything.

Rey took the opportunity to untie her hair from its messy bun, giving herself a break from looking professional. This wasn’t work. This was …a second date? Kind of? She didn’t think too much about it.

“If you want? Seems like you were a ways in.” She was there to spend time with him and enjoy a documentary. Or try to enjoy as her brain wouldn’t stay quiet. Her hand reached up to rake through her hair in an effort to calm her mind.

Whatever Buck decided, Rey would go along with it. She wasn’t sitting too close to him, unsure if she should be right next to him or if he wanted more space. She didn’t want to seem too eager or too clingy, but little by little she started to shift closer. Her knee bump against his and her hand settled between their bodies, there for him to touch or hold.

[toomanyevans]

Buck doesn't mind restarting it, especially if it means getting to spend more time with Rey. He sits next to her and chooses the start from beginning option, then settles back in. He feels weird wearing his lounging clothes on what is essentially a second date, but he hadn't expected her. If he had, he would have made them something to eat, and made sure that he had drinks she might want.

"It's cool," Buck says. He stays where he is, trusting Rey to do what she feels comfortable with, and when he feels her thigh press against his hand, he shifts over the few inches between them and slings his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in for a closer cuddle. "This okay?" he asks.

He hopes so. Rey feels so good against him, small and sweet tucked against his side. He really hopes that things work out between them, but then, he's hoped that things work out with everyone he's been interested in, even the girls he was casual with. Buck really just want to be loved.

[talentedscavenger]

In the grand scheme of things, this was more of a continuation of their first date…just delayed. If Rey thought her actions would’ve lead her to this spot, she would’ve had a better plan. As it was, she was enjoying the documentary and being by Buck’s side.

She felt his arm come around her shoulders, pulling them closer to cuddle on his couch—and asked if it was okay. That was utterly sweet in her eyes.

“Yeah…” she began to say, a shy smile tugging on her lips. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Usually she was adverse to being touched by someone she barely knew, but with him…it felt different. It felt like she could lower her walls around him and risk being vulnerable without fear of getting hurt. Something for her to analyze at a later time.

The day was catching up to her, making her eyes feel heavy and body yearning for sleep. While being in her dress pants and blouse weren’t the most comfortable things to wear, Rey couldn’t bring herself to pull away. She wanted to stay where she was and enjoy the time they had together.

Her eyes flickered up to see the side of Buck’s face and found herself asking, “can I hold your hand too?”

[toomanyevans]

Buck looks over at her, nodding, when she asks to hold his hand. It's a bit more difficult in this position but Buck doesn't mind. He just tugs Rey a little closer and threads the fingers of the arm he has around her through hers. It might be a bit intimate for a first or second date, but Buck is kind of an all in sort of guy.

"You sure you're not hungry or thirsty or anything?" The documentary is only an hour, so if she is, they can order something and it will arrive just before it finishes. Or Buck can cook for them. He doesn't mind.

[talentedscavenger]

A simple and intimate form of affection. Something that was both small and big at the same time. Warmth washed over Rey feeling her fingers intertwine with Buck’s. He didn’t pull back, opting to cuddle closer, holding her to him as they watched the documentary.

She kind of felt like a cat, curled up against a warm spot, feeling relaxed and safe.

The question gave her pause and she had to think about when was the time she ate something that wasn’t coffee or a pastry. A soft gurgle from her stomach told Rey it had hours. Whoops.

“I should probably eat,” she admitted sheepishly. “I can order food, are you the mood for anything specific?”

Rey would pay for dinner—it was the least she could do.

[toomanyevans]

"I'm not picky," Buck replies. This way, she can get what she wants and he won't worry about requesting something that she might not. It helps that he's not actually picky though. "You should let me cook for you next time."

Since he started working for Bobby, Buck's been learning to cook. He still messes up sometimes but overall he's doing a lot better. He can definitely make something for the two of them. Maybe not lasagna yet though.

"What are you in the mood for?"

[talentedscavenger]

“Neither am I.” Which, in theory, should make it easy for Rey to pick something. However…choices were hard. Yes, she had money and could splurge on things, but it was hard to break out of old habits.

She pulled away a little, taking out her phone while staying curled up next to Buck. A few quick taps and she was on door dash, scrolling through options.

“That would be fun—but, I’d like to help, if that’s okay?” If he was cooking then she would need to pitch in. Either with helping to make the meal or with washing dishes.

“If you’re alright with Chinese food, I could order that. Here…” Rey held up her phone for Buck to see what was available to pick from. “Take a look.”

[toomanyevans]

"Do you like to cook too?" Buck asks her. "I've been learning from my Captain. I used to be so bad at it, but now I can pull off a few things." He turns toward her and grins, "I think that would be really fun." He hasn't shared a kitchen with anyone except Bobby so far so making a meal with Rey would be really nice.

Buck looks over the options and nods, "yeah, Chinese is good. Lots of protein and veggies. But I should warn you, I can put a lot of food away." He kind of feels bad, since Rey wants to pay, but he works a very physical job, and that means he needs to constantly replace calories.

[talentedscavenger]

“Kind of?” Came Rey’s sheepish reply.

“I find it’s easier for me to meal prep for the week so I’m not wondering what to eat. But trying to figure out what I should make is still challenging. Then finding what I want, I have to follow a recipe or I feel completely lost.” Baking on the other hand came more naturally to her and was more fun. Though one could argue baking and cooking were more or less the same.

“So one pot or one sheet meals have been my go to,” she explained further, hoping he didn’t think she was weird for that. It was a system that worked pretty well for her and helped her save on her grocery bill.

“That’s fine. I don’t mind ordering a lot.” It meant leftovers, if there were any. She started to add some items into her cart, waiting for Buck to indicate what he wanted and then added it to her cart. Whatever the total was, she didn’t bat an eye about it.

“Just need to update the delivery address…” a few more taps and swipes and the order was placed.

“Should be here in about…thirty minutes.” She told him, looking away from her phone then back up at him. As close as she was to him, it dawned on her again just how close they were. Easy enough to lean in closer if either of them wanted.

“Think that should be enough time to finish the documentary?”

[toomanyevans]

"Yeah?" Buck says, listening to Rey talking about her cooking habits. "Those kinds of things make the most sense for the firehouse too. There are so many of us, and most of us are big guys so we eat a lot. I eat a lot." He's not ashamed of it either. He needs to, to keep up his strength and to stay in shape. "I do that for myself too. I'm normally too busy to make a full meal daily."

He looks over her shoulder to give his own opinion on what to order. After the order is put in, they're even closer than they had been before. Buck doesn't mind. He's looking for something serious, but that doesn't mean he's the kind of guy that goes slow, not even at the beginning of a relationship. He'll go at Rey's pace, though. He wouldn't want to make her feel pressured or uncomfortable. He'd been bad with women before, but he'd never been that kind of bad.

"Yeah, that should be the perfect amount of time," Buck replies, voice low. He reaches for the remote and unpauses it, settling back in to watch the rest.