Riverview: IC Inbox

[talentedscavenger]

Hello, you've reached Rey. I'm not here right now, but if you leave a message, I will try to get back to you.

Thanks.

Comments

[11calls]

You didn't do anything? Rey you used my feelings for Richard as a weapon, including what I told you.

Did you think that it wouldn't bother him? That it wouldn't bother me? I'm furious. You have no idea.

[talentedscavenger]

I...I’m sorry.

[ Rey is completely taken aback by this. She didn’t think of it that way. She thought she was helping! ]

I wanted to find out more details—and yes, I went about it the wrong way, but I didn’t do it to hurt you.

[ Never mind the fact Richard insulted her repeatedly. ]

[11calls]

Rey, I told you all the details. I told you private things about him that I shouldn't during that fight when we mentioned it. Richard left for good reasons. I destroyed his life. That's why he left the first time. There were other reasons too, but what I did? My show? Completely was my fault. It's why I needed to go find him that first time, and drag him back to the land of the living.

The second, I understand. He hurt me, yes, but I understand it. And I know he was a complete asshole, but you came to his friendr and started it. I told you things about his family, about what he was facing, about what his life has been like and still you went and did this. I don't understand. How would you feel if I was a stranger and went to Kylo with the things you've told me?

[talentedscavenger]

I remember that, but you also said he left a second time? [Questioning that, because she is going through their conversation in her mind and trying to remember every single thing that was said, or texted.] He hurt you, and I wanted to defend you and protect--and that wasn't my place to do so. [It's not her job, it's not, but it does make her question things on her side. ]

He also made a mean remark about you--and I tried to defend you. [Don't go dragging Ben into this... Don't get upset, just let Alex vent...but this does hurt.]

I wouldn't like it--but would you be doing it to protect me? Or doing it to start a fight? I wasn't trying to start a fight, I wasn't trying to be mean or anything. I wanted to know if he cared enough about you to not hurt you again! That's all I wanted.

[11calls]

The second time he had a damned good reason too. I wish he had told me before it but I understand why. Does it hurt, yes! But I know why he did it. I understand why he did it, and it's not even something that I needed to forgive him for.

Richard is an asshole. It says it right on the friendr post, Rey. He's an asshole and he can be snide and he can be a complete dickhead, and yes, he can be cruel sometimes, but he doesn't say mean things about me maliciously. He's just really bad at the social thing.

[Not unlike someone else she cares for, Rey.]

I know him, and I understand him, and in the end I'll probably forgive him anything. I appreciate that you were trying to protect me, but I also need you to trust my judgment on things. On him. Even if other people don't think it's sound or a good idea? I love Richard Strand. I am going to be with him to the end of the world and back if need be. He loves me, Rey. He has his own ways of showing it? And his reasons for showing it that way? But he loves me.

I know you weren't trying to cause a fight, Rey. I definitely wouldn't have been doing it to cause a fight either. But you did. A massive one.

[One that ended with him leaving and not coming back yet.]

[talentedscavenger]

And if that gets you killed, then what?

[Rey snaps, but she is a hypocrite in this. She had done the same to Poe, to Finn, and to Leia when she brought up Ben. She had isolated herself for it, believing it was a way to atone for causing that fight. In this, she can't win. Protecting her friends...it only seems to blow up in her face.

She doesn't want to make Alex even more upset, but she wants to fix this. But how? No doubt Alex wouldn't want her to find Richard and drag him back.

There's a long pause as Rey tries to reign in her anger.]

..What do you want me to do, Alex? Do you want to keep yelling at me?

[The questions are asked softly, trying to fix what's currently in her control.]

[11calls]

Then it gets me killed. It's my choice.

[Alex is very calm and certain when she says it, because she means it. She'd been thinking about it a lot over the last few months, even before Simon showed up and told her that she's as much at the center of this as Strand is. Even suspecting that something terrible would happen to her, she'd still make that choice and step in front of that bullet if need be to save Richard and the world.

But for now, she just sighs softly, her anger spent. Alex's anger tends to be a flash anyway, too bright and too hot and too quickly to burn out, and this time is no exception. She wishes that it would have been, because it's easier to be angry then to be hurting as much as she is, but for now it's done.]

I'd ask you to apologize, but I know that is a terrible and stupid idea because it'd only end up getting worse down the road. You two have tempers too alike. So, I'm going to ask that you not contact him again. Please.

[A beat, before she adds:]

Before you ask, this doesn't mean that we're not friends anymore or anything like that, Rey. Yes, I'm upset but I'm still your friend. I hope you're still mine.

[talentedscavenger]

[There's a long moment of silence, with Rey trying to take in Alex's words. Of trying to understand them, or get it through her head that it wasn't her choice to make. It's Alex's, and if it gets her killed--no, she can't accept that. She doesn't want to accept it, but it's the truth. It's the reality they're facing.

It's a selfish decision. It's a stupid decision--but it's Alex's, and Rey cannot take that away. Even if it upsets Rey a lot, it's a bitter pill she has to swallow.

She wants to yell, she wants to snap back and push Alex away. Tell her that she hopes Alex doesn't come to regret those words--or not to interfere if the roles ever become reversed. It would be childish and stupid, and it's so tempting to simply push back. To snap and close that door, abandon Alex before Rey causes more pain between the two of them. No..she can't run from this...but maybe she can just...distance herself and try to sort things out on her own.

She swallows a lump that's been forming in her throat.]

I won't contact him again.

[That is a vow she doesn't intend to break, even if an apology is due. And through all of this, Alex....Alex defends Richard, but none of the things he's said to Rey are apologized for. Nothing to her defense...so be it.]

We can still be friends.

[Just not as close. Just so Rey won't be hurt again, or cause someone else this sort of pain. Maybe she was over thinking things, but Alex...it stings more than she anticipated.]

Sorry Alex.

[She's had enough and decides to end the call there.]