Riverview: IC Inbox

[talentedscavenger]

Hello, you've reached Rey. I'm not here right now, but if you leave a message, I will try to get back to you.

Thanks.

Comments

[talentedscavenger]

[Rey had come to like and enjoy the texts Cisco sent to her. She doesn't mind how many times a day they talk. He's easy to talk to, and she does initiate contact too. Lately though, since the ball, she had been keeping to herself. Thinking over things.]

Yeah, everything's fine. I just have a lot on my mind. Nothing concerning just, something that I haven't given much thought to until recently.

[franciscoramon]

you know you can talk to me about anything, right?
concerning or not
that's what friends are for.

[ He had thought she was being a little quieter, since the ball, but Cisco also knows his own penchant towards paranoia and blowing things out of proportion. Rey is new to the whole having-people-in-her-life thing. Maybe it's a coincidence. Certainly, it wasn't worth bringing up, lest she think he was criticizing. ]

[talentedscavenger]

I know.

...do you think people can change?

[franciscoramon]

that's a tough one.

i think people are changing all the time
i don't think anybody ever stays the same
not long-term

but it's never a good idea to approach somebody thinking about who they could be
or who you want them to be
rather than who they are
you gotta judge people on their past actions

[talentedscavenger]

And if their past actions were misguided? If you knew or could sense there's something or some good in them...wouldn't it be worth taking a risk?

Or do you leave them alone and just wait for things to get worse?

[franciscoramon]

this is starting to sound pretty specific.

[ He has.... suspicions, but he's not going to voice them. Yet. ]

i don't think just waiting & hoping for the best helps anyone
but i gotta admit i'm distrustful of "sensing" things like that
i don't know if you're talking about a force thing
or just gut instinct
but i know what it's like to delude yourself
to want someone to be good so badly that you overlook stuff
and see goodness where there isn't any

that's why i said what i said about actions
if their actions change, you can decide if you give them a second chance
but it's not up to you to "take a risk" and try to change someone else
that whole letting people make their own decisions thing again

[talentedscavenger]

I’m no deluding myself if I’ve seen a change in him. If I’ve been in a position where he could have killed me but he didn’t...

And being around him feels different, but to everyone else he’s still the same.

I just feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place with this. And it would be easier to hate him and I can’t—I won’t do it.

[franciscoramon]

[ Cisco's reply is a little slower this time. Definitely about Kylo, then. He wants to be sure he's giving Rey enough credit, that he's not allowing his own tendency towards paranoia to tread over her kinder instincts. ]

well, that's something
not killing you is a good start
that's not just words, that's something substantial

[ It's fortunate this is a text conversation so Cisco's tone doesn't give him away: he's still skeptical as hell. ]

no one said you have to hate him
i just want you to be safe
take things slow
treating you okay is a good first start
but it's not enough. he's gotta show he can do that to others.

[ Cisco feels stuck, too - wanting to support Rey, but frightened for her too. ]

it can be blinding
when someone who treats other people coldly doesn't treat you that way
it makes you feel special, and wanted, like you're the exception
but... in my experience, you gotta be careful of that
people can use that to manipulate you

[talentedscavenger]

[Rey is also glad they're talking to each other in text. If she were speaking now, she would be talking in circles over and over again It sounds crazy, really it does, but there are feelings...and she can feel his conflict. Maybe it isn't too late for Ren to come around...]

I think it would be easier to hate him, to just see him as this...monster who has no care for life. Who doesn't care about anyone else except his goals and his own power...but he's not like that. The more I talk to him...the more I find myself unable to turn away.

You're right though. He could be manipulating me--he has the power to try with the Force alone. This could all be a farce.
He has to show he can be kind to others and not throw a tantrum--but I think people like to push his buttons.

[Like one person they both know. The one person who she probably won't be able to convince of her plan, and someone else too. Yet, it's so much more complicated. She felt...safe when they slept together on his bed, and she didn't recoil when they kissed...

But like hell she's willing to tell Cisco that. Not yet anyway. She doesn't want to say anything yet. Not for the fuss, but...it's a precious memory of not fighting and simply being with another person who understood loneliness as well as her. Someone who understood that so well.]

He didn't start off this way, and I can't help but wonder if Snoke--the person who changed him--if he found me on Jakku, if I would've turned out the same way.

[franciscoramon]

i hope you're right. i do.
i love a good redemption story.

[ Plus, it would mean there wouldn't be a horrible looming threat for Finn, and Poe, and the rest of the Quarantine. Cisco cares about that much more than about this Kylo guy, himself. ]

i get you.
but being good means being good even when people are pushing your buttons
not just when it's easy.
if he wants to reform or whatever he's gotta learn that, or else none of it matters.

[ Grown men ought to know better than to throw temper tantrums, after all. If Rey was able to convince him that his more loathsome beliefs were wrong, it still wouldn't matter, if he keeps an explosive temper and ends up hurting people regardless. ]

can i tell you something?
what ifs don't matter.
maybe you would have. maybe you wouldn't.
circumstances can mess people up bad but at a certain point it's your responsibility the person you are
nobody starts off bad
but if you're talking about kylo ren (i mean obviously you are) he's not, like, a kid?
he's a grown up, and at some point no matter how shitty your shitty past
you gotta look at it and say okay, that happened
now who am i gonna choose to be.
you know?

[talentedscavenger]

I hope so too. He can be redeemed, but he has to want it.

[Believe her, it would be so much easier to have Kylo Ren be good. It would be so much less stress and everyone could get along.]

Yes..I am talking about him--and thank you for not brushing me off or telling me to simply give up. If I were talking to Poe about this...he wouldn't listen, and he has his reason--all good and valid and in any other circumstances, I would be the same---I was the same.

I haven't had the chance to talk to anyone else about this because of how...sensitive it is.

The thing is...I don't think he's ever had the chance to wonder who he is supposed to be. He's had it in his head for a long time, I think, that he's meant to follow in the foot steps of someone else, someone who was also evil but he came around in the end. And without any of those negative influences...he might have the chance to think, to maybe grow.

But...that's all assuming he wants to. I've seen that growth in him, but it could be a farce. But I want to believe that is isn't.

[franciscoramon]

i understand.
there was someone who hurt me a lot, back in my world.
he hurt my friends, too. and eddie. all of us in different ways.
i could never really talk to them about him.
it was all too complicated, because they were involved. too high stakes.
eddie and i can, now, but...
sometimes it is easier to talk it out with an outsider

well i hope so
better late than never i guess

i'm not gonna tell you to give up
or that what you're doing is stupid
i've got no reason not to trust your judgment
and i'm not your big brother or anything tho sometimes it almost feels like it

just promise me you'll be careful, okay?
and you won't blame yourself if he fails?

[ And if he hurts Rey in the process... well, Cisco might take a page out of Reverb's book, just this once. ]

[talentedscavenger]

You view me as your little sister?

[ Cisco, that is so sweet and it makes him more endearing to Rey. She really does appreciate him listening to her because she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to about this.]

I’ll be careful, but it means a lot you’re listening. I won’t blame myself for anything he does. He has to answer to his own actions, even if he decides to redeem himself.

He...he’s different right now. At least from what I’ve seen...

[ Fuck it, she’ll open up a little more about it. ]

We has a snowball fight—no one got hurt but he managed to dump snow on me..and helped me up. We...actually smiled and laughed.

No malice. No intent to actually fight. Just laughed and had fun.

[franciscoramon]

i do.

[ Now he does wish this conversation were in person, because he's a little worried that it might be crossing some sort of line, feeling that way about her. Telling her he feels that way. Rey has been deprived of a family for so long. She might not appreciate him pretending he can ever be like family to her. ]

i hope that's okay.

[ No way to know except by asking. He's glad at least to hear her saying she doesn't plan on blaming herself if the whole redemption thing goes poorly (which he still suspects it might). When she talks about the snowball fight, the first thing that comes into his mind is that maybe Rey has a bit of a crush on this guy, but he stops himself. After all, she'd been so adamant about not wanting that to be a part of her life. He shouldn't make assumptions, shouldn't superimpose his own expectations. ]

sounds like it was a good time.
i'm glad it's not all like... with him and poe.

[talentedscavenger]

[ If they were talking, Rey would’ve had to clear her throat a few times. It’s very sweet and touching. ]

That’s fine.. It’s...nice you think of me that way. ...you’re important to me, Cisco. Very important...and it means a lot that you think of me that way.

I don’t think I’m that “little”. Are you really older than me? :p

[Why does Cisco think she can have feelings—romantic feelings for someone else? It’s weird and it’s...something she doesn’t want to think about it right now.]

It was...fun. I had never thought he could laugh.

Me too, but it could be because he’s trying to manipulate me but...it didn’t feel that way.

He was at the hospital too. He visited and stayed a while.

[franciscoramon]

i'm 24 years old, i'm pretty sure that's at least a little older than you

i hope you're right
it never feels that way in the moment, though
not with the sort of people who are really dangerous

[ Cisco is, in hindsight, a little anxious at the thought of how helpless Rey was in the hospital. It's good that Ren hadn't hurt her, but what if he'd tried? Cisco should've been looking out for her better when she was in need of it... ]

for whatever it's worth
when it comes to instincts about people
i trust eddie's intuition more than anybody else
i'm not just saying that cuz he's my boyfriend

that guy, the one i mentioned
who hurt me a lot, who i thought was somebody i could trust
none of the rest of us suspected a thing
but eddie had a bad feeling about him right from the start
it was like he could just... tell.

[talentedscavenger]

I think it is. I don't know how old I really am, don't remember when I was born so. I'm about 19, least that's what the hospital put me as for my age.

[Really, she doesn't remember what her birthday was, and it wasn't like she actually celebrated it when she was on Jakku.

It takes her a while before she sends the next text. She's reading and rereading Cisco's words, honestly taking them to heart and trying to figure out where to go from here. She is conflicted, but she is trying to see the good in Ren, while trying to be careful at the same time.]

I don't know if Eddie's instincts can tell when it comes to Ren, and I wouldn't want to put him in that sort of danger.

I...have this feeling that there's more to Ren than what's there. He is capable of changing...and I think if given the choice..he might. He doesn't have anyone else around him to make him think he has to follow the Dark Side (literally that's what it's called), or follow in his grandfather's footsteps.

I think....he has the chance to figure out who he wants to be...and I can only hope he'll go down a path that's right for him and that doesn't involve going down a dark path.

[franciscoramon]

[ Rey's life really breaks Cisco's heart sometimes. It's probably a good thing that she can't see his face, because he is so, so sad for her. But he does what he usually does, and hides it with cheer. ]

see, 19
little sister
practically a baby.

you should pick a date
for your birthday i mean
any day you want it to be.
that way i can throw you a party
or at the very least buy you a present and sing to you.

(mine's february 10th so don't pick that unless you wanna match)

[ He knows she might not want it to be a large affair. ]

no, i wouldn't want to put him in danger.
(and you're sure YOU'RE not in danger?
because i don't want that either.)

[ But he already knows that Rey is going to do what she wants, regardless of the danger, because that's how she is. Stubborn, reckless, and amazing. Too soft-hearted for her own good. ]

the Dark Side? for real?
wow... melodramatic, but effective i suppose.

[talentedscavenger]

[If Rey saw how sad Cisco was for her, she would tell him it wasn't a big deal. People are born, people die eventually. Her life...the date it began wasn't important. She's lived this long, so that should be more important, right?]

I am not an infant. :P

I don't need a party, Cisco. I think I've had enough parties for a while--and you don't need to get me anything. Promise. It's just another day. It comes and goes. It's fine.

[But now she'll have to look up something for Cisco's birthday. His birthday was more important...so there.]

(I'm not in danger. I'm fine. I'm in bed and just...staring off into space and texting you. I'm fine.)

What else would it be called? 'The Bad side'? The Dark Side draws on the opposite of the Light...I'm not the one who gave those sides names. It's just how it is.

[franciscoramon]

i know i don't need to
but it's like with the thanksgiving dinner eddie cooked for all of us
i WANT to, because giving people i care about birthday gifts makes me happy
it's purely selfish you see 😈

i guess you've got a point
it's just extremely ominous
we haven't really got anything like that in my world
so i've never really thought about what you would call it
other than 'evil' i suppose.

[talentedscavenger]

[Cisco...why do you have to be stubborn about this? Especially sweet and stubborn and Rey can't bring herself to say no.]

Fine, ONE, gift...and no party. No need to go overboard.

[Because they have better things to do. Because she's not that important...because she thinks his time could be better used elsewhere.]

It is ominous, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I don't know much about it, or the Force. I'm still trying to learn what I can.

[franciscoramon]

🎁
one gift it is
and i never go overboard
i am always exactly on the level of the board

anyway just tell me when you've picked a day!!!!

i get you
if there was someone who could teach me more about my powers
i would want to listen to them
no matter how dangerous they were
just be careful
i know i've said that a million times but i really mean it

[talentedscavenger]

Uh-huh. Then why am I picturing you already plotting to give me something like...

Like an actual board and your “one” present is beneath the board. And you telling me you didn’t go over board because nothing is literally above the board?

[ Yes, she made a joke that’s a bit over complicated but she made a joke! ]

I’ll let you know when I’ve picked a day. I’ll try not to forget.

Then you understand the situation I’m in. Poe and Finn have their reasons to be distrustful of him—very excellent reasons, but considering Ren is here, there are things he could show me that aren’t associated with the Dark Side. I’ve been trying to learn on my own but...there isn’t much for me to learn and I don’t want to do anything that could hurt someone.

I haven’t practiced with the lightsaber because of that reason.

[franciscoramon]

i would never do something like that!
(ok maybe i would)

if you forget i'll remind you 😈

i get that.
i'm scared to learn to use my powers because i might hurt someone with them
but also scared that if i don't learn to control them i might hurt someone with them
total catch-22

[talentedscavenger]

No, you would. Just to be clever. :)

Fine. :p

Exactly! And I know Poe would be against it completely. He thinks there’s another way, but...really there’s not.

And...Ren gave me a book about the Force. It’s more like a notebook but, he wrote a few things down for me. I looked it over and didn’t sense anything wrong with it. Honestly, it’s more information than I’ve been able to find on my own.